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JEST QUEST

WELCOME TO KRUSTY'S WORLD

 
THE MUSIC IS WHAT MATTERS THE MOST, BUT A LITTLE FRIVOLITY ALONG THE WAY DOESN'T HURT, OR DOES IT?

KRUSTY'S DISGUSTIES...

HERE'S THIS MONTHS 
BEST FAN SUBMITTED JOKE...

A YOUNG WOMAN WALKS INTO HER SEX THERAPIST'S OFFICE, AND TELLS THE THERAPIST HER HUSBAND ISN'T A VERY GOOD LOVER, AND THEY NEVER HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS ANYMORE. AND ASKS HOW TO CORRECT THIS PROBLEM. THE THERAPIST TELLS HER THAT SHE HAS AN EXPERIMENTAL DRUG THAT MIGHT DO THE TRICK. SHE TELLS THE WOMAN TO GIVE HER HUSBAND 1 PILL THAT NIGHT, AND COME BACK IN THE MORNING AND TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED.
THE NEXT DAY THE WOMAN RETURNS, AND ECSTATICALLY TELLS THE THERAPIST THAT THE PILL WORKED, AND IT WAS THE BEST SESSION OF LOVE MAKING SHE HAD EVER HAD. THE WOMAN THEN ASKS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SHE GAVE HER HUSBAND TWO PILLS. THE THERAPIST SAYS SHE'S NOT SURE BUT TO TRY IT, AND COME BACK AND RELAY WHAT HAPPENS. THE NEXT DAY THE SAME THING HAPPENS, WITH THE WOMAN STATING IT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN THE NIGHT BEFORE. SO SHE ASKS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SHE GAVE HER HUSBAND FIVE PILLS. THE THERAPIST TELLS HER SHE IS NOT SURE, BUT TRY IT AND COME BACK, AND RELAY TO ME WHAT HAPPENS.
THE NEXT DAY THE WOMAN COMES IN LIMP, BUT HAPPY. SHE TELLS THE THERAPIST, IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER, AND ASKS WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SHE GAVE HER HUSBAND THE REST OF THE BOTTLE? THE THERAPIST SAYS, "I DON'T KNOW IT'S EXPERIMENTAL, AND DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A WHOLE BOTTLE WOULD DO TO A PERSON. THE WOMAN GOES HOME AND PUTS THE REST OF THE BOTTLE OF PILLS IN HER HUSBANDS MORNING COFFEE.
A WEEK LATER, A BOY WALKS INTO THE THERAPIST'S OFFICE AND SAYS, "ARE YOU THE ONE WHO GAVE MY MOTHER THE BOTTLE OF EXPERIMENTAL PILLS? "WHY, YES, YOUNG MAN, I DID. WHY?" "WELL, MOM'S DEAD, MY SISTER'S PREGNANT, MY ASS IS KILLING ME, AND DAD'S RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE YELLING "HERE, KITTY, KITTY."  
 
NOW BACK TO
FUN WITH ANIMALS 
 
WHAT HAS FOUR LEGS AND AN ARM?
A HAPPY PITBULL...
 
WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW WITH TWO LEGS?
LEAN BEEF...
 
WHAT DO YOU CALL A COW WITH NO LEGS?
GROUND BEEF...
 
 
 
AS A TRIBUTE TO THE ULTIMATE BASSIST, ACTION JACKSON, WE WILL KEEP THIS ONE POSTED
 
WHILE SETTING UP AT THE BAR ONE NIGHT, THE GUITARIST STUMBLES IN FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE. HE HAS THE HEADACHE OF ALL HEADACHES.  AFTER 15 MINUTES OF INTENSE PERCUSSION POUNDING FROM THE DRUM RISER, HE RUNS UP TO THE DRUM RISER. AND SCREAMS "CAN YOU STOP PLAYING YOUR DRUMS, THEY'RE IN TUNE ALREADY!" THE PERCUSSIONIST LOOKS OUT AND SAYS, "CAN'T BAD THINGS HAPPEN IF I DO." THE GUITARIST, AT HIS WITS END, THEN ASKS, "WHAT BAD COULD COME FROM IT IF THE DRUMS STOPPED?" AS THE PERCUSSIONIST'S FACE GREW FULL OF FEAR, HE SAID...
"WHEN THE DRUMS STOP, BASS SOLO BEGINS."  
 
THIS JUST IN...
 
WHAT HAS LITTLE BALLS, AND SCREWS OLD LADIES?
A BINGO MACHINE...  
 
 
AND JUST BECAUSE WE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY...
 
WHAT HAS TWO LEGS, AND BLEEDS?
HALF A DOG...
 
 

 
OUTTALINE
PUBLIC SERVICE
ANNOUNCEMENT...
GETTING TIRED OF SMOKE FILLED BARS?
GRAB A BREATH OF FRESH AIR...

BY SPECIAL FAN REQUEST
 
  A
LONG
TIME AGO
IN A NOT SO
DISTANT FOOD
GALAXY FAR, FAR
FAR, FAR, FAR AWAY,
WE'LL NOT THAT FAR.... 

CALVIN & HOBBES

PREVIOUSLY
FOOD WARS...
EPISODE I
 
SPACEMAN SPIFF
TRIES TO
ADJUST TO AVAILABLE FOOD SOURCES.

HOW THE FOOD WARS BEGAN...

THE SPINACH STRIKES BACK
EPISODE II 
 
REALIZING THAT AVAILABLE FOOD SOURCES
MAY BE CONTAMINATED. OUR HERO, SPACEMAN SPIFF, DECIDES TO PROTEST, BY NOT EATING SUCH PROTEIN. PATIENTLY AWAITING HIS DEMISE.

THE FOOD WARS SAGA CONTINUES

RETURN OF THE
SPACEMAN
EPISODE III
 
THE NEED FOR
MORE SUFFICIENT SOURCES
OF FOOD BRINGS ABOUT NEW HOPE,
SPIFF RETURNS TO
RETALIATE AGAINST THE EVIL TYRANNY......

 CLICK HOBBES TO VISIT
HYPERKITTY'S OFFICIAL BEER
TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE
BELOW